ZOMBIES

So maybe I didnt make myself clear for the last almost 5 years.

THIS IS MY FUCKING BLOG. Mine. Not yours.

You dont get to dictate what I write, how I write it or what I do period.

Do I tell you what to eat? How to drive (ok maybe that one inadvertantly) or how to wipe your goddamn wrinkly ass?
NO. NO I DO NOT. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

So if I ramble too much, or have too many paragraphs of nonsensical garbagerie for you ... then I have some news for you.

PISS OFF. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE HERE NOW DO YOU DO. Did I possess your body and force you to click into this link? Hmmm? Now did I?

Im so fed up with people telling me HOW I should be acting. WHAT I should be doing.
WHO I should be dating. WHAT I should be blogging about, like its the top focus of my day to be your dancing monkey. Yeah. And pigs fly. (they could, Ive heard of it you know).

I find it almost amusing that I havent nitpicked enough on people lately, and yet Im getting attacked from allsides. Its like the Indy Gangbang 500 except it really. really. sucks and Im not getting paid to do it. Err. Not that I would. Oh fuck. Forget it.

My point is, Who I am is WHO the fuck I am. When I figure out who that is, you'll be the first to know.

Sooo should not have eaten the New York Cheesecake with blueberry topping. Definitely must have been poisoned because I feel like ass right now. Not only is my phone in crappy shape, but everything else is seeming to be in my life right now. Except the job, I have a job, and I need to be grateful for that.

But I dont want to be the person who only cares about work. Ive been her before, and its not a good fit. Like a shoe too tight, a thong that gives the worst wedgies, err... anyways.

My whole point is, maybe if you feel the need to change me so much, you obviously dont know me, for well, me.

Im not perfect. I have size 10 womens feet (believe me, it sucks) I look ugly when I cry (really, I do... not one of the hot chicks who looks all glowy and awesome) , I have to try 10x harder than any girl I know to look decently ok or just human enough to not scare old people and children. Nevermind, I like scaring children.

Thats another thing, if ONE MORE person suggests I join the shitty mothers club, I will cause mass genocide. This part would piss alot of women I know off, but heres me and heres honesty.

I think its DISGUSTING when I see morbidly obese couples having babies, because that kid is going to have 9 million problems and never ever get exercise (my theory has proved true many times over) and when I see all the girls I went to school with having them in contest with every other girl, and all they can do is sit at home on the couch and go "OMG ITS SO AWESOME BEING A MOM BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH".
Seriously, if you dont want to hear about my dogs all ding dong day long, be sure I dont want to hear about your bratty little child and the really cute shit they took.

Some kid was throwing a tantrum on my lawn yesterday and his parents just sortve ignored him.
Damn them for being so docile, why cant they just spank the ever loving crap out of him so I may peacefully go on with my day and without my lawn being defiled by brats. I thoughtfully considered getting the hose with the extra pressure nozzle and maybe since his parents were too stupid to tell him to grow up, Id do it for them.

Fortunately or Unfortunately (as I lost out on opportunity) they left him and kept walking and he just got up and followed (still screaming the whole way down the block).

So my problem is, its ok for your kid to act like that, but its not ok for me to tell you make him shut the hell up? Noooo that would be meeeeeeaaaan.
It is also not acceptable for me to throw myself on their lawn and scream as loud as I possibly can.

But at least I'd feel fufilled and justice served.

Honesty is the best policy, so if you feel you need to change me into what you want or need, then Im not the right gal.