Chrismukkah & All Its Crummy Little Joys
**** Note : I wrote this yesterday... Ok I mean ranted this but am only getting around to posting it now. ****
BAH. fucking. humbug.
I have returned. I would have returned sooner had not my clumsy bumbling idiot fingers accidently cleared my entire post about winter blahs, Christmas blahs, and bad driver blahs.
Sadly enough, Wil has Not returned, the TOL shut its doors, the Lovetel closed for business and we the patron left in the COLD. Shame shame. Moreso on myself. If only I had done more, this wouldnt have happened.
When I saw that "Blog has been removed", I thought it must be a joke. It must. But, ah! You Sir Wilfred may have won the battle, but I shall win the war.
You'll come back.
So, to all those moron drivers out there with dinky little cars, no snow tires, no sense of reality or capability to drive ... STAY THE FUCK HOME. Also, driving is not like cheese, it DOES NOT GET BETTER WITH AGE.
Sounds cruel doesnt it, Im a heartless evil bitch arent I, oh dare not say it, but I really hate everyone else who even attempts to get in my path in these crap driving conditions (oh thanks goes to our oh so crappy "mayor" Bronconnier, who is really fucking useless with our tax money). Im not saying Im the only one entitled to drive, but LEARN to drive, this is CALGARY, we have winter EVERY year, and yet, EVERY year, people are "unprepared". Yes, its called snow, and ice, and shitty shitty coldness.
Yet our city cannot be held accountable for not having cleared the streets, yet they just dumped $10M into a rotting disease infested property? Because thats just what we needed, was a 100+ yr old hotel property when OUR GODDAMN STREETS ARENT BEING CLEANED, SANDED OR EVEN THOUGHT OF. Its ok if we all die in the name of Bronconnier and city officials keep money in THEIR pockets, but we the taxpayer, are just his little cash cows.
Ok so enough of that, just remember, if you choose to drive a "fuelefficient" piece of plastic shit car, ie: smart car, mini cooper, just know that you really will get squished skidding across an intersection, mostly likely by a giant truck that will not wait for your dumbass to get winter tires *which still wont help you, because your car just sucks*.
I have hardly had any time to breathe these last few weeks. Busy busy busy, go go go, and yet for what?
I had nearly given up on the idea of "Christmas" when my dear Grandpa decided to cash in his chips in this world and just leave.
Leave he did, gone he is, and what Im left with is this bitter resentment of what Christmas used to be or should be.
A few weeks ago, I went soft in the head and decided I'd try to have a lovely Christmas, I would make dinner, clear the table and everyone would open gifts and be nice to each other.
Uh yeah right. Nothing is ever like the commercials, which means, stop watching how Corporate America wants YOUR Christmas to be (ie, buy buy buy) and make your own up.
Unfortunately, it has deprived me of sleep, stressed me out, turned my life upside down and turned me into a raging psycho with very little to no holiday cheer.
eeee.. .. . cheer. ... what an icky word.
I dont believe in all the "reasons" for Christmas anymore... like all the religiousness behind it because I feel its a bunch of crap. Its all crap.
I think Christmas is for the children, or just to even get everyone together. I realized on my way to work in the snow... the really shitty snow... that if I dont buy my own gifts, I wont have anything to upwrap, because being a kid, you EXPECT that someone else will have wrapped a gift for you. Wait why is this all about gifts?
I didnt want it to be, but what fun is it if you dont get to unwrap just one thing?
Bahfuckinghumbug.
LuvMummy suggested that I am some sort of freak BettyCrockshit-Martha Stewart with my very "Stepford" ideas of 2 gifts per person and a lovely Christmas dinner at my house.
Is it too much to ask that even I, the most bitter awful girl on the planet, might even like to enjoy something just a little?
Because even though Grandpa is dead, Im pretty sure he wouldnt want me to hate Christmas, and even though the weirdo Russian thing got broken, and wont be on top of the tree, its ok, but shhh dont tell LuvMummy, she might accuse me of being awful and trying to ruin Christmas this time around.
***I am getting so frustrated. I have only child syndrome. Its called, I NEED SOME SPACE UP IN THIS SHIT. ie: GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!
You know, dont nag at me when I am doing nothing NOTHING wrong, and you bitch, whine, moan that YOU need to do something ASAP but then when I make that an option for you (yes, taking time out of MY DAY) you simply stand there to chat... not on your time ... no no, on MINE. How about I take a little extra time off you every day for the rest of our miserable time together? I can predict the future, no really I can,
you'll run wah wah wahing to the nearest person and Ill be regarded as a sour old hag who is "nitpicking" on you. God forbid you should be slapped in the face with some rules.
Also, God forbid you should actually HAVE TO DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF JUST SIT THERE AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ABOUT YOUR MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE. IF IIIIIIIIII DO IT, I AM TRIED & HANGED BY MILITARY TRIBUNAL, AND I RECIEVE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IN THE FORM OF A VERY, VERY UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATION.
But you? You just huff puff and spiffer through life on your little shit kite you call a "life". Good luck in the real world, but as long as your here, and you can feel like your really "somebody important" its ok to do it, right? Well... not so much.
WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE, IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER.
And that folks, completes todays episode.
PS. quit stressing all that really small junk that means FUCKING NOTHING IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF LIFE.
BAH. fucking. humbug.
I have returned. I would have returned sooner had not my clumsy bumbling idiot fingers accidently cleared my entire post about winter blahs, Christmas blahs, and bad driver blahs.
Sadly enough, Wil has Not returned, the TOL shut its doors, the Lovetel closed for business and we the patron left in the COLD. Shame shame. Moreso on myself. If only I had done more, this wouldnt have happened.
When I saw that "Blog has been removed", I thought it must be a joke. It must. But, ah! You Sir Wilfred may have won the battle, but I shall win the war.
You'll come back.
So, to all those moron drivers out there with dinky little cars, no snow tires, no sense of reality or capability to drive ... STAY THE FUCK HOME. Also, driving is not like cheese, it DOES NOT GET BETTER WITH AGE.
Sounds cruel doesnt it, Im a heartless evil bitch arent I, oh dare not say it, but I really hate everyone else who even attempts to get in my path in these crap driving conditions (oh thanks goes to our oh so crappy "mayor" Bronconnier, who is really fucking useless with our tax money). Im not saying Im the only one entitled to drive, but LEARN to drive, this is CALGARY, we have winter EVERY year, and yet, EVERY year, people are "unprepared". Yes, its called snow, and ice, and shitty shitty coldness.
Yet our city cannot be held accountable for not having cleared the streets, yet they just dumped $10M into a rotting disease infested property? Because thats just what we needed, was a 100+ yr old hotel property when OUR GODDAMN STREETS ARENT BEING CLEANED, SANDED OR EVEN THOUGHT OF. Its ok if we all die in the name of Bronconnier and city officials keep money in THEIR pockets, but we the taxpayer, are just his little cash cows.
Ok so enough of that, just remember, if you choose to drive a "fuelefficient" piece of plastic shit car, ie: smart car, mini cooper, just know that you really will get squished skidding across an intersection, mostly likely by a giant truck that will not wait for your dumbass to get winter tires *which still wont help you, because your car just sucks*.
I have hardly had any time to breathe these last few weeks. Busy busy busy, go go go, and yet for what?
I had nearly given up on the idea of "Christmas" when my dear Grandpa decided to cash in his chips in this world and just leave.
Leave he did, gone he is, and what Im left with is this bitter resentment of what Christmas used to be or should be.
A few weeks ago, I went soft in the head and decided I'd try to have a lovely Christmas, I would make dinner, clear the table and everyone would open gifts and be nice to each other.
Uh yeah right. Nothing is ever like the commercials, which means, stop watching how Corporate America wants YOUR Christmas to be (ie, buy buy buy) and make your own up.
Unfortunately, it has deprived me of sleep, stressed me out, turned my life upside down and turned me into a raging psycho with very little to no holiday cheer.
eeee.. .. . cheer. ... what an icky word.
I dont believe in all the "reasons" for Christmas anymore... like all the religiousness behind it because I feel its a bunch of crap. Its all crap.
I think Christmas is for the children, or just to even get everyone together. I realized on my way to work in the snow... the really shitty snow... that if I dont buy my own gifts, I wont have anything to upwrap, because being a kid, you EXPECT that someone else will have wrapped a gift for you. Wait why is this all about gifts?
I didnt want it to be, but what fun is it if you dont get to unwrap just one thing?
Bahfuckinghumbug.
LuvMummy suggested that I am some sort of freak BettyCrockshit-Martha Stewart with my very "Stepford" ideas of 2 gifts per person and a lovely Christmas dinner at my house.
Is it too much to ask that even I, the most bitter awful girl on the planet, might even like to enjoy something just a little?
Because even though Grandpa is dead, Im pretty sure he wouldnt want me to hate Christmas, and even though the weirdo Russian thing got broken, and wont be on top of the tree, its ok, but shhh dont tell LuvMummy, she might accuse me of being awful and trying to ruin Christmas this time around.
***I am getting so frustrated. I have only child syndrome. Its called, I NEED SOME SPACE UP IN THIS SHIT. ie: GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!
You know, dont nag at me when I am doing nothing NOTHING wrong, and you bitch, whine, moan that YOU need to do something ASAP but then when I make that an option for you (yes, taking time out of MY DAY) you simply stand there to chat... not on your time ... no no, on MINE. How about I take a little extra time off you every day for the rest of our miserable time together? I can predict the future, no really I can,
you'll run wah wah wahing to the nearest person and Ill be regarded as a sour old hag who is "nitpicking" on you. God forbid you should be slapped in the face with some rules.
Also, God forbid you should actually HAVE TO DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF JUST SIT THERE AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ABOUT YOUR MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE. IF IIIIIIIIII DO IT, I AM TRIED & HANGED BY MILITARY TRIBUNAL, AND I RECIEVE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IN THE FORM OF A VERY, VERY UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATION.
But you? You just huff puff and spiffer through life on your little shit kite you call a "life". Good luck in the real world, but as long as your here, and you can feel like your really "somebody important" its ok to do it, right? Well... not so much.
WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE, IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER.
And that folks, completes todays episode.
PS. quit stressing all that really small junk that means FUCKING NOTHING IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF LIFE.
posted by Tachaé @ Monday, December 22, 2008
15 comments
