Some Ugly Midget Named Hank

Isnt it bad enough that not only are you a midget, your ugly and your stuck with the name Hank? Fuck, who does that to their children? Oh wait.. I know someone who does horrible disgusting things like that to their children... oh hahaha the jokes on you. Dragona. Anyways, I'll recover from this.

So the mountains were like, almost perfect. I brought dvds and crahp, and there was cable! oh mighty 80 channel cable.. Right now im suffering with peasent vision, so excuse my excitement. Many many weird things happened though... I thought i was for sure going insane, because I went to bed at about 230 am on saturday morning, and i was lying there thinking about how much i missed my kitten, when something started knocking on the window. it scared the righteous fuck out of me. so i rationalized and thought "your not insane its just the wind, go to sleep" so 10 min. later it started again... and i knew i wasnt crazy ... so i plugged my ears and ducked under my covers like a 4 yr old and freaked out. The next morning I looked out the window onto my grandparents garage roof and there were no footprints on the snow or anything, so i simply thought i was dreaming and i was happy. It happened for 3 nites. in a row. at exactly 2:41 am, so as of tomorrow, im seeking the help of a psycho therapist. My grandmother told me its just something weird with our family. my great grandmother used to read tea leaves... lalaa right... anyways, i never believed pretty much any of that shit, im like yeah yeah whatever. apparently my great grandma read this womans tea leaves sometime in the 30's and told her that very soon someone close to her would die, and thinking it was a joke no one paid much attention to it. the next day the womans husband was shot while hunting. talk about fucked up, so i still was doubtful. THEN!!! my grandma starts telling me shes been hearing the knocking since she was 20 and it means someone i know will die. im not going into who died, but it was a slight shock. because it happened. Not so much that i was saddened.. sounds mean but... they were kindve a dick anyways. Oh wait... this gets better, then my grandma starts telling me about aliens... so i just listen and nod my head at appropriate times... but the worst thing of all, my grandma was raised in a strict pure bred white family. shes ... racist i suppose, big deal i dont really care, but she hates gays too... i think she said the word cornhole about 200+ times in the whole week... i came home and laughed my ass off... but it disturbs me that she said that word. alot. so yeah, it was reeeaaallly interesting.
i think i should spend more time there, but the fear of hearing "cornhole" ahahahaha im laughing as i type, has struck me into hesitating before i go stay for an extended period of time. but whatever, i got dvds and ... tinkerbell pjs for Christmas... and i even wore them... the worst thing is their actually really warm and fuzzy... damn you tinkerbell!! or disney.

The Glamour

But first on earth as vampire sent,

thy corpse shall from tomb be rent;

Then ghastly haunt thy native place,

and suck the blood of all thy race:

There from daughter, sister, wife,

At midnight drain the stream of life :

Yet loathe the banquet which perforce

Must feed thy livid living corpse:

Shall know the demon for their sire,

At cursing thee, thou cursing them,

Thy flowers are wilted on the stem.

Lord Byron, The Glamour, 1813

Scam # 18,733 - Porno

~ It's important because I can see that she needs to pretend more than I do that all this has a social veneer and is ( at least potentially) more than just a shag, more than animal lust. But for my part I feel like saying , shut the fuck up and get those keks off , we're never going to see each other again , and if our paths do cross we'll cover up our embarassment with stoicism and feigned indifference, while I'll be thinking, hatefully, of the noises you make while you're getting fucked and the regret on your face the next day. How it's only the negatives that stand out , that are in any way memorable. (pg.20)

~ Now is the time to fall in love. Just open that fucking zip and let the entrails of love engulf you both in a messy rapture, as this raging bull and mad cow get on board the love boat. Look stupidly into each other's eyes ; talk shite; get fat. But no. I do what I always do and use sex as a means of undermining love by grabbing her, enjoying her theatrical appearances-sake shock, and we're snogging, then undressing, frigging, licking, teasing and fucking.
Prior to this though, I've ascertained that her salary , position in the organisation and social background are not as impressive as I first envisaged. She's a fuck, that's all. You sometimes have to fight hard not to get to know somebody.
But that's all it is . A sickening feeling of loss hangs over me. It's easy to love , or for that matter Hate, somebody in their absence, somebody we dont really know and I'm an expert at that. The hardest problem is the other bit.~ (pg21)

Herry Mo Mo

If I ever see a mall again, it will be wayyy too soon for me. The fast approaching end of this year marks the end of alot of things for me. The end of shopping for at least the next month, the end of a few friendships and assorted other things.
And you know what... for the first time in a long time I can breathe. I can just be me. No more trying to be who someone else wants me to be. I dont even hate them or have any hard feelings for the way this crashed, its actually quite perfect. Im sure sometime soon I'll hide under my desk with my Hello Kitty pillow and have a good cry. But not just yet. For right now, I have Starbucks coffee from Jay (*thanx*) , and my happy pink monkey socks and for right now, Im happy. ok maybe Im lying... but im content for a bit. which is more than I can say for me and like, 99% of my life.

Rijaca... I am so sorry that I won't be here for your birthday so Please Please dont hate me. Ill make it up to you with zoo lights or something shiny that will distract you from being mad at me. There, you've been officially mentioned in my precious blog.

I never knew buying for people could be so ... incredibly difficult , like... its insane. I always throw money in cards and toss them around but I felt like being creative. Its just, every time I walk into a store.. my brain goes "oooh i like this... keeeeep iiiiittttttt... miiiinneeee.... prrreeeecciiiouuusss" and then I give myself a guilt trip and buy 2 of the same and keep one. But at least I can say I wasn't a cheap ass... and Josh got me kickass gifts, a photoalbum made of some weird bark and leaves I think and my favorite Bed Head shampoo and Biosilk hair stuff... i love the smell of it , its like.. sex in a bottle of hair stuff... sex for your hair... yes... and everyone elses gifts were lovingly selected and put in funky boxes. Yay for me... im not a horrible grinch bitch.. .for once...

So Herry Mo Mo everyone... and yeah....Josh.... have you seen my couch? AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA

Porno - Irvine Welsh

This is such a fucking amazingly funny book and im only 20 pages in. Irvine Welsh was the guy who wrote Trainspotting which went on to become an amazing movie. The book has a blow up doll on the front, which is fan-fucking- tastic.

~ Even as I'm shovelling it up my hooter, I realise the sad truth. Coke bores me, it bores us all. We're jaded cunts, in a scene we hate, in a city we hate, pretending that we're at the center of the universe, trashing ourselves with cheap drugs to stave off the feeling that real life is happening somewhere else, aware that all we're doing is feeding that paranoia and disenchantment, yet somehow we're too apathetic to stop. Cause, sadly, there's nothing else of interest to stop for. On that note, rumours abound that Breeny's got a shitload of ching and a fair bit seems to be flying around already. ~ (pg 4)

~ Impotence is bad and clinginess is awful, but the two in tandem simply can't be tolerated. The idea of becoming a nurse to this old fool is repulsive. Pity about that arse , I'll miss it. I always did like a good, firm arse on a man.~ (page 14)

~ Age makes most girls into women, but men never really stop being boys. That's what I envy about them, their ability to wallow in silliness and immaturity, which is something I always strive to imitate. It can be tiresome though, if you are constantly on the receiving end of it. ~ (pg 17)

M.I.A. - Choke

Well, my mom's house is FINALLY going to be cleaned out because its been sold. I think it just never registered with me that it would actually sell and it would never be "home" again. I dont care where I live but that place was home and im fucking going to miss it. all bad memories of it set aside. doesnt matter.

Im listening to old old school Metallicabecause ive discovered that i actually hate new music. all of it. i cant even stand to listen to papa roach anymore. if i hear it one more time i swear im going to shove broken glass in my wrists.
M-boy wants me to go to utah for Christmas, Arthur swears hes going to kidnap me and marry me off in the temple or something.. meh... could be fun? or not. and ive also realized i suck at sending out Christmas cards and such. i always think like 3 months before Christmas, oh yeah ill send them out. and then here it is, 10 days before the day and i havent even gotten them filled out.. so i promise myself... oh next year it will be ok. procrastinators unite!!! ... tomorrow...

Insomniak's heart has been broken once again, so hes coming over tonite to most likely drink and mope on my floor... or my dog bed =).... he really likes the dog bed..... ahahaha. poor guy.. oh well. oh yes, in other news. someone has been sending threats to my phone. which is really kinda funny... because yeah... i have the phone # they came from and i gave it to the cops. some people are really fucking stupid. and soon im going to find out who left those messages and .... i havent decided what im going to do . whatever... i hate stupid people.

I have 4 days to pack for my vacation !! FUCK!!! i just remembered so im going to cut my rambling short and start doing laundry...

I am a Jimmy Choo Junkie

I have recently become obsessed with Jimmy Choo knee high boots, unfortunately I can't get them in Canada. Curse you cold foul country of nothingness. And to order them on my credit card would cost me a disgusting amount. So Im stuck in a pre-dick-tament.

Ive decided to hate all men and Im not going to be anyones dumb little girlfriend whore thing. Its just not happening. For all you guys who treat girls like trash, FUCK YOU. i am so sick of you and your crap . ok im done now. but yeah , this weekend blew the damn goat so bad. there was like 1 hour where it didnt completely suck and im happy about it.. it just doesnt happen enough.
my little cousin thought it would be incredibly cute to stick ketchup in my hair and rub it around... i just didnt notice so shame on me. but me and josh had a good time, and thankfully did not order pizza at 4 am this morning. wow, its amazing how i can just go blah blah blah for ages and not really notice that im writing so much shit and no one notices.

Lee says : jimmy choo will kill you with sparkles and sell your carcass on ebay for $900.

that is all i guess.. im so like non entertaining.. i didnt even get completely hammered this weekend.. what a bloody waste of shots.

Blood(Empty Promises) - Papa Roach

I will forgive but I wont forget ~ I hope you know ~ you lost my respect ~ y'better watch out! if you dont know whats going on around you ~ y'better think twice ~ before you fly off the handle and lose it! y'better join us ~ before you get lost in the shuffle ~ you gotta rise against ~ the demons that are gonna try and hold you down ~ DOES IT RUN IN YOUR BLOOD TO BETRAY THE ONES YOU LOVE? ~ Cause I'm not a pawn ~ for you to play in your fucking game! I've got dignity ~ and a dream that I want to achieve ~ under pressure you crumbled and you let me down ~ I'm not deaf ~ and all I hear are your empty promises ~


I just bought the new papa roach cd, and inside my brain was screaming "YOU IDIOT!! what a crappy cd" but after listening to the first 6 songs, Im completely head over heels in love with this shit. It is really fucking good. but not for everyone i dont think... oh well... dumbfuckery... my eyes are intensely burning right now from the lack of my precious contacts, im blind as a damn bat and the stupid contacts dont come in for 2 more days. my moms birthday is on sunday, so guess who gets to be the lucky party planner? ME thats who. its just I dont want to have to call everyone and invite them and pay for my whole damn family to come out and get hammered and fight with each other.. + their children. does anyone know how much i dont like children? well i dont hate them... i just .... im allergic.. yes... they make me itchy.. and impatient. anywho i was up at 5 am this morning and its only 7:35pm and i am dead tired.. DEAD!!!! im going to bed.

I love courtney love - Josh S.

yeah...all that stuff i said about her was one BIG FAT LYE just like poo////i actually love brittney spears and christina agulers (and when r7@n and i rock the sheets) lol...... so yeah emo this emo that well whenever i say emo it reminds me of finding nemo...i remember the summer i found my nemo!!!! so yeah i love boybands and pretty pink stufff....i also enjoy making a good smoothie everynow and then.....

Josh is a jackass.. everything he wrote right there is COMPLETELY off balance.

Courtney Love Is A Ho

http://http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2531 This is so highly amusing to me, because I loved Kurt Cobain with all my black little heart.

"After a prolonged legal battle over who has the right to exhume Kurt Cobain's corpse and make it dance for money, we have finally been blessed with a box set of rarities which documents Nirvana's peerless history of shitty outtakes.

Let this be a lesson to all you aspiring muscians. Don't die after you become really famous, or your subhuman harpy of a wife will publish everything you deemed worthy of release in order to feed her addiction to pills and attention."

My 3rd blog thingy in one day! im so pleased with this. itr makes me so happy that i no longer have to make any of you horribly miserable just to find pleasure. AND ITS PINK! so effing hot.

MUST I CONTINUE TO REMIND ALL OF YOU TO LEAVE ME NOTES... like come on... i need some kind of emo boost.

"Into the pink"

Mantwon has given me a wonderful gift. an emo picture of me, with glasses and a shitty hat... all i need now is a tissue box and some grenades.
http://www.microwang.net/shitty-emo2.jpg

yes much thanx to him. so anywho, Friday brings Insomniak's work Christmas pah-ty, it is semi formal - formal and we all know what that means.. i must *gasp* wear a dress. a filthy dress.. wait according to Insomniak it means "dont dress like a $5 hooker". I think i can manage.. maybe... i hope... i just hope im still not hideous by that time, and that i can go. or he'll rant at me for 500 long years about how much money and chinese food i owe him , and ill be old and dead by the time he finishes hating me.

Diesel Sweeties ( http://www.dieselsweeties.com) has been running with some interesting themes lately. its quite amusing. check it out. or dont.. i dont really care. penny arcade was also running a particularly disturbing one yesterday (http://www.penny-arcade.com) so i hope thats the right link ... or whatever...

Emo Girl

well ok... my first post.. i should be so excited. but im not. ive gone completely emo and crying and all the crap that comes along with it. i hate emo. it is crahp. what am i supposed to say when people i trusted are nothing but dirty old rags to me now. thats what they are.. NOTHING! they are dust. dust dust dust. now if only i could sweep them under the proverbial carpet and be done with it. i would. i really would. im just too weak.

Greg, who will be further known as "Mantwon", has created me some lovely emo glasses. they made me smile... or else hes making a mockery of me and i should be distressed. but im not. hes cruelmuffin's internet husband. which i recently discovered. how could you people not make me aware of such things? am i that unloved that i cant be told ? oh well more emo crahp. more and more of it until all of you are so sick of me that you just cry because im crying. which would then make me smile and i would no longer cry. ah who cares.

anyways, ill soon be leaving on my yearly vacation to my grandparents in the snowy mountains.. which will be a wonderful and much appreciated break from my crahppy reality. i think i love this font... i love it.. yes yes yes... more than i love some things..