Break Me Down

This flu thinks its got me in the bag BUT HA... I CLIMBED OUT OF THE BAG... but not after a few hours of delusional sleepy feverish ranting from the couch and then to the bed to sleep sideways.

I find it so hard to blog (CAN YA TELLLL?)

Hopefully Ill get some time soon to fill you in on all my useless garbage.

To bed... for more feverish bs dreams!!

Toasty Buns

Is that you John Wayne?

I dont know... Is this me?


Im not sure who Tachae' is anymore. Im really not... I feel like I have been in some weird twisted version of reality like Alice in what the fuck land ... but its just slipped all past me. I get up, I go to work, I work, obviously, and then I come home to leave again and go to the gym (which I am so not doing tonight, Ill get to that later). Isnt there more? Arent there all these adventures, parties and things to do?

Or was that all some bullshit lie from the fairytales and cartoons to numb our brains and make us complacent little jellyfish for the government to poke around with a stick? Because Im pretty sure thats what it was.
ANd IS.

COME ON EILEEN...

Wendy's is by far the worst thing that ever happened to mankind. Period.

I actually enjoy work most days but today was just a holy what the fuck I think my blood hit 105 degrees when speaking with my coworker about things we need to watch for, and they raised their hand and started flapping it at me like a mouth, while telling me they didnt "have" to listen to me, and they would just ignore me.

I think I blanked for a second, literally, that psychotic moment of excuse me? Did you just say that? Here, take this pen, yes it fits just lovely in your eye. All the while smiling a Stepford smile and holding a freshly baked pie in the other.
Because lets face it, nothing says hey what a lovely day like shoving a pen in someones eye and then sharing pie. It all works out.

Seriously. GROW UP. I dont mention names, nor do I speak of where I work ever, so I am quite content to share that with the world.
No one reads me anymore anyways.

My Granny is still going blind apparently... I havent brought myself to be ok with that.
She seems to be giving into it, and that bothers me so much... what happened to the fierce evil granny who punched me in the eye once for not doing my math homework? I have this sense of sadness, like this is what life gives you, you work hard you tough out everything for many years to get SURPRISE HERES SOME BLINDNESS AND IRREGULAR BOWEL MOVEMENTS. Like, thank you for playing better luck next time.

I am coming to this point in my life where all my friends are starting to not be my friends, and the people I thought cared about me, dont. Funny how when I stopped blowing my Grandpa's cash and sharing it all, the partying the free ride, they all just fell off the earth.
Some of them even had the nerve to tell me what a bad person I am. Ha.

I shared and I gave and I loved and then I hit a bad patch and wam! They all walk away like I never existed. It was so predictable, I really put too much trust in those people (and no I dont need them or want them) but it is like a slow death to feel it.

Ive even been called superficial and materialistic (Jamie, the redheaded > < insert whatever name fits best) told me recently how shes got her priorities straight, and some wonderful boyfriend who I hadnt ever met even though they'd been together a year... and how Im "materialistick" and hows shes going to "acheeve" her goals... go back to school and such.
I was angry of course, but as a bit of a joke I told her she might as well spend some money on working on her english skills. You mock my "your you're their theyre" but this is the girl who spells bastard as basterd.

Its so shocking that many of my generation are literally stupid.
Its not just that she cant spell, she really isnt the brightest bulb... why did I spend so many years putting 110% into that? Not sure, it was more that I enjoyed the actual friendship, not the backstabbing, boyfriend-humping hoor she became, or always was.
She stabbed me about many things, but I never called her names, or told her that she'd gained about 50lbs in the last year, because I couldnt hit that low.

Maybe Im just not meant to have anyone around. Im pretty bitchy and miserable lately, which has an intense amount to do with a certain hand flapper. ... but what can I do? I cant let the nasty comments about my personal life just slide off. I never ever comment on what people eat or their weight, because honestly Im not perfect, Ive been heavier its not a fun place to be, and it fucking hurts.

So what do they say to me? I should watch what I eat, and those smoothies are packed with buckets of sugar. Um right. Because that massive ass bowl of pasta you just ate with 2 sides of garlic toast the size of china are just so healthy. And Im a freak because I dont eat meat, I only eat salad, or rice and veggies at lunch.

ITS ALL I LIKE OK?! MAYBE IF YOU ATE ONLY RICE AND VEGGIES YOU'D BE HAPPIER TOO.
I dont make commentary on other people, well only in my head, because I can have these awesome convos with myself, dont even fucking roll your eyes, you all do it too!

Lets not even get into the "dangerous driving report" I got slapped with last week.

Honestly, I am NEVER calling in a drunk driver again.

EVER.

The cops never ever came and snagged any of them, especially someone I knew. They had 2 little girls at home, ended up driving up the front lawn and leaving their goddamned minivan there because they refused to let anyone drive them home.
I followed them for 45 minutes.

45.
And not one cop ever bothered to find them and stop them. Believe me, I dont believe in snitching on friends. Thats so not cool, but she was going to kill someone for sure.
I'd say too bad it wasnt just herself, but then I'd have a whole shitload of Karma just because of her little ones.


Forget it, my Karma is so shitty anyways.
I can remember so many nice, wonderful things Ive done for people... and yet it never seems to find its way back to me.


I dont know where Im going and Im not sure I like that either... or I can just stop wearing VS undies, let my highlights grow out, throw my Gucci pumps on the lawn and start forgetting that any of that shit even matters.

Go full out Marla... buy the dollar dress, have knotted messy hair, smoke like a chimney and hump like a monkey because honestly what the fuck is the point in being everyone elses walking advert?

"Self improvement is masturbation .... self destruction is the answer"

CARIBOU LOU

yEAH.

thats right. Im here to clean out the musty smell of death and blog ONCE AGAIN.

TRIUMPHANT. other than the fact that Ive probably lost all of 2.3 readers.

Im trying to piece myself back together and its been oh, like years, and I think thats a lost cause.

Thus, why not self destruct instead? It is a much more guaranteed offer and cheaper too!

Work is good... sortve. I mean, if you want to feel patronized/fatter than every single stick thin girl in the building/ hated by said stick thinnies/ critisized by one for working out and eating healthy/ basically having no impact on life at all.

So yeah. Its good. The usual.

I go to the gym 99% of the week when Im not at work or trying to clean the house and you KNOW WHAT? MY ASS GOT BIGGER. HOW FUCKING UNFAIR IS THAT. I am convinced there is a black woman WAAAAY back in my family and now the genetics are popping up. There is no other answer.

My Grandma may be going blind. Im upset about this but can do nothing. I hate that powerless feeling.

Did the yearly trip to Vancouver/Lower Mainland area.

Stuck my toes in the ocean, whined and said I wanted to go home. What a delightful spend on my paycheck.
Please donate to the international fund of Tachae's broke ass.
Thank you.

I will be posting pictures shortly but due to a busted broke ass phone I cant acquire these photos at said time.

Stay tuned !!

Fire

I have been up to so much lately, where do I begin?

Lets begin with going to see the latest installment of Harry Potter movies. Ive loved Harry Potter since I was 15 so I dont think its something Ill outgrow, but I HATE going to theatres ... full of strange people and bitchy little preteen native girls, who made nothing but a bad example of why en masse of Calgarians are so fucking racist to them... you have a bad attitude now do us a favor and go bite someones bumper in traffic.. its good I promise.

Much like the books changed, the characters and stories turned Darker.

I enjoyed it, I really did, but I burst into tears at a certain part and now I cant sleep it bothers me so much.

Yeah Im a wuss like that.

I dont know why they are so against me at work. It is so very highschool somedays, like the table/group cliques.
Dare we ever sit NEAR a table they are at, we would probably burst into flames at the very sight of it oh me oh my.

I am getting a little sick of it to be honest. I dont see it changing, so thus I live with it and feel the burning eternal distaste they have for me written all over the looks they dont give me.
They just look away.

Can I just take this moment to be the Femi Nazi Toast Queen I once was, and say

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MEN?

CANT THEY JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE SOMEWHERE SO WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE OUTRIGHT FUCKING DYKES AND NOT HAVE TO BE INVOLVED IN PENIS DRAMA?

You say girls are fucked... Jesus FUCKING MIXED SIGNALS AND PROBLEMS AND DRAMA AND &^%$ IM GOING TO LOSE MY EVER LOVING MIND IF I HAVE TO ENDURE ANYMORE 14 YR OLD BS.

But they are better to work with than women.

Men, cant live with them, cant drag them down the highway behind a fast moving vehicle. How unlucky for me.

Ive had some bad traffic issues but the most drama seems to happen when Im not driving now, maybe its this getting older business, or having the life sucked out of by harpies every day that just makes it that much less worth it to scream at people in traffic.

nah, thats still fun. Ill never give that up.

Not Scared

Bear with me, Ive had people crawling up my ass for 4 days no time to myself to blog, and its bothering me... so much in fact Im probably writing this from the mental ward because they drove me NUCKING FUTS.

Walter Cronkite

Sadly, yet another icon has been claimed.

Walter Cronkite passed away on July 17,2009, at 92.

A true American with a vast history of moments in his career. Shall truly be missed.

I HAVE THE PANTS. Now shutup.

>>So I'm fucking off/don't miss me/don't
So you gave it your all/still fell apart/don't cry/don't
It won't change a thing to want it any other way.
It won't change a thing
Don't
It won't change a thing to want it any other way << (the captains intangible)

My head just isnt in the right place. It kindve feels like being drunk and stepped on by a crowd of people with one or two stopping to take a piss on you, but minus the alcohol, people and pee.

Everyones been asking why Im not blogging. I do. I just get weird and dont publish.

I cant write or express with another person in my house while I sit here and write my little black heart out. Or lack there of. They kill the mood. Like a fart at a funeral.


This is why you dont know that I go to work with people who make me want to poke my eye out with a hot stick and pull my brains out all the while making strange monkey gurgling noises.

Its so frustrating having to act like what they say sometimes doesnt make me want to RAGE.

I do not understand why one in particular has such an OBVIOUS intolerance towards people with any disabilities. Or pretty much everyone except whose in their "group" . Yes. Ive died and gone to hell ... or worse ... highschool.

I try to have a sense of humor at work but everyones like mannequins. They just stare blankly.

Nada. Nothing. Some do. But its a tough crowd Im telling you.

Its also really hard to work with people who cannot be bothered to say good morning or acknowledge the fact that you are indeed alive and a little how do you do wouldnt kill you or anything ... maybe it would ... thats their secret.

I am happy regardless in many other ways, but as usual I love to bitch.

But Ive been biting my tongue so hard Im surprised I dont have blood pouring down my chin ... I respect that others OBVIOUSLY have different views than me (then again I'd like if it they didnt sometimes, dont we all?) but they really could do with pulling that enormous stick out of their ass for about 10 min. That would be super fucking awesome. Thank you.

Also have you done your TPS reports? That would also be super fragafuckinglicious.

I havent had too many bad driving episodes lately, mostly due to the fact that when Im going west, everyone is going east into the downtown core. I drive on a nearly empty road while they are lined up by the thousands. Usually the same way home too, everyones now been pooped out of the city core and are going home to those peachy perfect cookie cutter homes to eat with their perfect little children and petting their perfect little white rat dog. Im just going to assume a lot of suburbanites have shitty little dogs, because its usually true.

Im right. Shutup.

I like this song but its annoying like high school. The video is much my work life, except less men, all women office and more windows. God I hate light. *hiss* excuse me while I go put on my gothy makeup and cover the windows with black fabric and listen to Billy Talent while I sharpen my razor blades and write EMO on everything. Also that had absolutely nothing to do with the video, except the whole sunshine and big windows thing - which leads me to me sitting AWAY with my back to the EVIL AWFUL SUNSHINE. Thus it gleans on my screen. Bah.

Ok, moving along again. Heres the vid. Dont try to like it too much ... Dont worry Wil and Heff... I know you wont.




Im going to try and be more regular about blogging again, so its not like all backed up and then splatters out on you like Im doing right now. Nevermind. I dont care. None of you read me anymore anyways!
In fact I could be dead and you wouldnt even know ... This might not even be me typing this up ... It could be an imposter! Yeah ... I cant even fool myself into thinking someone would want to pretend to be me *pity party bring tissues, drew barrymore movies and lots of fatass pie. Mmm I love pie*

Ok yes. Go away. Go back to that sad little thing you call a life.

Target Advertising

In the wake of a "friends" betrayal (ok yeah what else is new) I was fairly choked but Mike called it as he saw it
*hint the advert to the right side of the page*